Allow your children to show you who they are. Provide a safe space and the vocabulary to express themselves. Surround yourself with people who look different than you. Celebrate your children or you'll suffer without them.

You are a gift from God to the world. Embrace it.

The "Celebrate me" System: Imagine everyone has a yellow post-it note on their forehead with the words "celebrate me." Practice THAT for the rest of your life.

The idea phase was making the button and showing up and giving hugs. Then we had a FMH banner made and walked in the 2016 parade. Even after making a FMH social media page I was just making it up as I went. I am FULL of good ideas. The pivotal point came when we were planning our very first Transgender Valentines Banquet, an acquaintance wanted to donate $500 dollars to help with the expenses. Up until this time I had never asked for or raised this much money. FIVE HUNDRED dollars! I was so excited! BUT they would only donate to a non-profit. So I went to my friends Pastor Neal and Dean Coffman — together they ran a nonprofit — Expressions Community Center on the strip. We worked on several projects together (they ordained me) so they knew me. I told them about the situation and they invited me to umbrella under their nonprofit.

That’s when it became REAL in my mind. We had everything in order, our non-profit status, bank account, even the Federal ID number. Guess what? They never sent the money. Said it was tied up in the sale of property. We never got that money. I can laugh about it now but I was sure sore about it then. The banquet went off without a hitch — thankfully OKC Pride stepped up and saved the day. In 2018 we became our own nonprofit and guess what? We’ve got just a hair more than $500 in the bank. ;)

First Wedding - 2016. Natchez, Mississippi. Jill and Denise. We met in 2015 when my husband and I were on vacation in Virginia Beach and we all just happened to stay at the same hotel. We met over dinner and became friends and stayed in contact through social media. Jill and Denise had been together 28 years prior to the marriage equality act being passed. They were the first same sex couple to be married at the local community center. They made front page news. When the local reporter asked Jill why they wanted to get married, Jill replied, “I thought it was about time to make an honest woman out of her!” They were the first wedding I officiated for, in fact they are the reason I got ordained. First Event - 2015. National Coming Out Day hosted by a local college. The event was in a public park near the campus. There were about 15 or 20 students. Led by a teacher who is part of the LGBTQIA+ community. The teacher spoke words of encouragement and instructed us to gather and stand in a circle. One by one they shared their stories. Most were positive, some made me cry hot tears.

During our time together, I noticed a young man standing close enough to hear the circle conversations but far enough away so he didn’t appear to be “with" the group circle. Curious, I approached him. His skin was dark and he wore a hoodie with the hood pulled well over his head. I asked him if he was okay, and asked if I could stand with him. He agreed, we listened to the circle conversation until it was over and then he shared his story. He’s gay and terrified. Both he and his sister are from Pakistan. They are here on student visas, living on campus as full time students. This is his last semester. When he’s done he’ll have to return to his family home in Pakistan. The problem is, both his parents and his sister suspect him to be gay. The bigger problem is, in Pakistan gay people get killed. His sister has made it very clear she’ll turn him in if she has reason to believe he’s ‘acting’ on it here. Together we found a private support group off campus and through the efforts of our local equality center found a way for him to stay here. His sister returned to Pakistan. He’s surrounded with people who celebrate him. We see each other on Thanksgiving and he’ll call every now and then. He is a very happy man. Crisis averted.

Because ultimately we are about unconditional love.

Go to freemomhugs.org to find your state chapter — get plugged in and that will keep you in the loop of everything happening where you are. This is your call to action: If you can show up - show up. If you can pray for us - do that. If you can give financially - GIVE.

Dear Parent, It’s okay to search this matter out. We have so much information out now, no matter where you stand historically, scientifically or even scripturally on the issue of homosexuality. The only other choice is to remain in fear and ignorance of it. Your child is entrusting you with the most tender and intimate part of their lives. Welcome and celebrate this beautiful expression of human sexuality, as they are a gift from God.